New Beginnings
by marilyn-monroe94
Summary: This is my take on how Bella deals with Jacob's obvious aversion to her new self. NOT FOR JACOB LOVERS! Rape and lemons in later chapters. M to be safe.
1. Going Home

**N/A: just to let you know, this is a Bella/Edward fic, and for those Jacob lover's out there, it involves Jacob raping Bella, so I suggest Jacob lovers avoid it!**

**Note: I do not, and never shall, own the story or characters created by the genius that it Stephenie Meyer…sigh**

**Chapter 1: Going Home**

He stared at me, his mouth open. The tall, sunny boy I had known had changed some over the years, but his wide, open eyes and full lips were the same as ever. I sighed. This wouldn't be easy.

"Bella?" He took a tentative step towards me, dazzled by my new appearance. His voice sounded frightened, like he was pleading me not to be who I claimed to be.

I took a deep breath.

"It's me Jake. Hi."

He glared at me, and I suddenly felt sad. Sadder than I'd felt in the 20 years of my new life.

Ever since our marriage, Edward and I had been inseparable. In accordance with my demands, after our marriage, Edward and I moved up north, whilst I dealt with my…developments. I'll admit, the pain during those first few days was practically unbearable- in fact, the only thing that made it tolerable was the knowledge that soon I'd be closer to Edward than I could have ever been as a human. The hardest part was saying goodbye to Charlie.

He had never quite excepted Edward, never quite understood my love for him, or how I could pine for him for days, when the thirst became too much, and his natural instincts took over. He could never understand. Even if I were to explain it, chances were I'd end up in a cushioned cell for the rest of my life.

To begin with, my thirst was insatiable, and it was all Edward and Emmet could do to control me- I was young, and strong, and I was out of control. I remember wanting to die- nothing else could stop this feeling. And then there was the horror. Horror at what I was letting myself become. Of course, Edward blamed himself, and I suppose that's what gave me the will-power. I was so ashamed of myself, and I remember the days, the weeks, and the months of self-restraint that followed. There was no doubt that those were the hardest times of my life. Well, except for when Edward….but I don't want to think about that.

We stared at each other for a long time. His mind was clearly trying to process the information he had just acquired- I didn't need Edward's ability to tell me that. I sighed. I sighed because you're allowed to sigh once an again when you're going to live (or exist) for the rest of eternity. Unless a werewolf kills you first. This, by the look in Jacob's eye, didn't seem so far-fetched.

"Say something," I urged him silently, wishing with all my heart I had some ability that would allow me to know what he was thinking.

"You stink." He said it so quietly I had to pause for a minute to listen to it again in my mind. And then it wouldn't stop repeating. I stink. Of course I do. I stink like the vampire I am, to the werewolf he is. And that hurt me, knowing I repulsed him. I could look stunningly beautiful, I could have the most wonderful voice, and I could even be almost exactly the same as the old Bella, but I would never be good enough for Jacob Black. Not now. Not ever. I was just another one of 'them' now. A 'cold one'. A traitor.

I tried a laugh, but all I received was a glare.

"Well, you called me up here. What do you want?" How could he look at me like that? So cold, so distant. It made me shiver involuntarily.

"I…I just wanted to see you. You haven't changed much." I tried a friendly smile.

"You have." There was that same, hard glint to his eye. But did I see something, anything, flicker briefly over his face, before the cold mask of indifference slipped back on?

"Yeah, well needs must as they say!" I trilled brightly. My chirpiness was having no effect on him. This once happy-go-lucky boy, the Jacob who had been my best friend, was lost to Jacob's new responsibilities. At least, I assumed that was the reason. As the new leader of the 'pack', Jake had taken his new responsibilities very seriously, down to making me meet him at the exact border of our territories.

When I had come back down to Forks with Edward, it had been in hopes of reconciliation. But Jacob, being as stubborn and pig-headed as always, refused to accept the new me.

"Come on Jake! Can't we please just be friends again? You have no idea how much I've missed you." Well, it wasn't a _complete_ lie.

"I'm not sure Bella. The rest of the 'pack' kind of looks up to me now. I can't just start being best friends with a vampire, can I? I have to uphold some standards." He looked a little sad, and I could see his feelings beginning to creep in from behind the iron mask.

"So that's it? I'm just 'the vampire' now?" The sudden realisation dawned on me. "I'll never be Bella again, will I? I'll always be 'another one of them'"

The guilt in his eyes affirmed my assumption.

"You've got to understand Bells! My new responsibilities are more than I can handle now. And you know I go crazy if I'm around a vampire for too long. It just wouldn't work." He said the last part softly, as if trying to break some awful news to me. The mask had completely slipped away now, to be replaced with Jacob's large, pleading eyes. I softened a little.

"I know, I jut wanted us to be friends again. You know, how we used to be." As soon as I'd said the words, I knew it was a mistake. 'How we used to be', as far as Jacob was concerned, was more than 'just friends', exactly the opposite of what _I_ wanted.

His eyes lit up, and his smile nearly cracked his face in half.

"I'd love us to be like we used to be! I haven't stopped thinking about you either, Bells." Damn it! Why did this boy never take a hint? I would tell him right now exactly where we were on the friendship scale.

"Yeah….that sounds great Jake." I'm such a woos…

Just then I heard a voice I had been longing to hear throughout the awkward conversation- the voice of my own personal angel.

"Are you ready yet Bella?" Edward's sweet breath cooled my skin where it touched. Even after these past twenty years with him, I could never seem to get over him.

"Yeah…yeah. We're just about done here, right Jake?" But he wasn't looking at me.

"Yeah, sure. You take care of yourself, you hear?" But I could tell this instruction wasn't directed at me.

Edward nodded serenely.

"She'll always be safe." He replied, putting a protective arm about my waist. His voice was so steady, so earnest, even I believed him, and I was constantly having accidents.

Jake snorted, and glared reproachfully at Edward, as if to say "like it's your fault she's safe." But looked back at me.

"I mean it Bells- be careful."

And with that, he turned. I only caught a brief glimpse of his retreating back, before I turned to leave.

**N/A: Want another chapter? Read and Review!!!**


	2. Memories i

**N/A: Ok, here's the next chapter!**

**Chapter 2: Memories**

_The pain! There is nothing like this. My very veins are on fire. Everything burns._

_Edward? Where is he? He promised me he'd never leave me again. WHERE IS HE???!!!_

_He's back. He's at my side. Suddenly, the pain is all the more bearable, because of him. I hear a scream. It is a blood-curdling one. I see Edward's terrified expression, and I understand it- the scream is my scream. _

_I don't know how long I have been lying here. This basement looks darker and lonelier every day. It feels like years since he bit me. Years of torture. How much longer can this go on? Alice said only three days, but I know I've been here longer than that. I know I have. _

_The pain makes everything clearer. At the beginning, it was like I was under a haze. It brought back painful memories of James. And then there was fire. And now, there is fire, needles, and him. His voice, his very being, is the only thing keeping me going. There is only him. _

**N/A: What did you think? I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this, so review, and maybe I'll work it out!!**


	3. Charlie

**N/A: This next chapter is dedicated to**…..**twilightLover121!!! Thank-you sooo much for your kind review and it may take a little time for me to reveal Bella's powers, but they will be revealed….eventually!!!**

**Chapter 3: Charlie's.**

I sighed again, all my frustration at Jacob's pig-headedness and behaviour finally seeping through my well masked feelings.

"Are you okay Bella? I know Jacob's reaction must have been hard on you, but he'll come around. Trust me." Edward looked at me sympathetically.

I did trust him- that wasn't the problem. I didn't really know what I was expecting- some kind of miraculous 'welcome home'? We would never be as good friends as we used to be, not now, but I was hoping we might find some common ground. Something we could at least agree on. It would appear I was mistaken.

"I know. But I just can't help feeling we're never going to be the same as we used to be." I glared out the window at the steady rainfall.

Edward laughed his musical, whimsical laugh.

I often wondered whether I sounded like that- whether my new laugh, my vampire laugh, would ever be as wonderful as his. I didn't see how that could be possible, but a lot had changed.

My walk had become more graceful, yet my constant accidents seemed somehow inescapable. Even I had noticed a visible difference in my already pale skin. And then there was my hair. What had before just been dark brown was now a shiny, thick mass of auburn curls with the faintest hint of golden blond when I moved my head. Even I admitted- my looks had improved. I finally felt I could be good enough for Edward.

A thought suddenly occurred to me.

"Edward? You know how you said the thing that first attracted me to you was my…aroma? Well…I was wondering whether that still applies, as it were." It was a slightly weird question, but Edward was used to that by now…or at least he should be, considering.

He hesitated for a moment, obviously weighing up his answer.

"Well….there's no doubt that you smell _different_, but even now you're smell is stronger than that of an ordinary vampire. You smell almost as good as you did when you were human- almost the same." He smiled lightly, but there was a tension behind his eyes.

Almost, but not the same. Almost. One word that could hold so much meaning. Almost.

"You still love me though, right?" There was an unsuppressed panicked edge to my voice, and I could hear the desperation.

The car suddenly screeched to a halt. I turned in my seat to Edward, wondering the reason for the sudden stop. He sat there glaring daggers at me, his golden eyes blazing into me.

"Don't you ever ask that. Don't you ever _dare _ask that. _Of course_ I love you! I _always_ will. It doesn't make a shred of difference to me whether you're stupid enough to sacrifice you're soul for me- you're still Bella. I still love you. Do you understand me?" His liquid topaz eyes, impossibly beautiful, bored right into my soul…or whatever it was that vampires had.

I nodded mutely, my mind completely blank. All I could think about were his perfect eyes.

His expression softened.

"I love you Bella, more than you could possibly comprehend. I. Love. You." He enunciated every syllable clearly and precisely, his marble face grim.

"I'm sorry."(Although I didn't really know why I was apologising- I just couldn't remember) "I just forgot how someone as perfect as you could ever love someone like…well…me."

His expression flickered indecisively between anger and humour, his eyes still boring into me.

"Have you seen yourself lately? You're not too far off perfect yourself." A wry smile broke through his lips, humour obviously winning the battle between the two emotions.

I smiled, but I could feel it didn't reach my eyes. An impatient sigh escaped my lips. I wasn't quite sure why I was so desperate to reach Charlie's house- he would have aged so in the twenty years I had been gone. I often forgot how human's aged- being around the "eternally damned" has that effect. I winced as I thought of how badly I had hurt him when I left- I would never be able to wipe his expression completely from my memory.

Speaking of Charlie- as I thought those very words, Edward turned left into the driveway of the little house that was my father's home. I sighed again, and wondered how I would explain my appearance.

"Chin up. Remember, he's your father. He still loves you." Edward gripped my arm possessively as we walked up the drive. After my transformation, I never thought I'd come back, but Edward had insisted that I do- I had spent years mourning the fact that I would never see my friends, my father, or anyone I had known before Edward Cullen, until Edward half dragged me back here. Initially, I was excited by the prospect of seeing my father again, but now, I was having serious doubts. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see my father so frail, as I was sure he would be now.

Edward walked me confidently up to Charlie's front door, and, as usual in these situations, I was infinitely grateful for his presence. Edward knocked loudly on the door. How was he so calm?

There was no answer.

"Dad? Dad, are you home? It's me, Bella." I called tentatively through the door. I was sure Charlie was home- his car was out front.

Ever since his retirement, Charlie had taken losing his cruiser very hard- the occasional phone calls made this all too apparent. Charlie was very critical of the new police officer- he was too young, too reckless e.t.c…

But as a leaving present, the force had gotten him a new ford moneo. He guarded the thing with his life.

"Bells? Bella? Oh Bella! It _is_ you! And…Hello Edward." Charlie nodded curtly towards my husband.

"Good afternoon sir." Edward smiled warmly in return.

"Bella….You're so…Different. You haven't aged at all!" Charlie looked with some confusion at me.

I laughed easily.

"Must be the Alaskan air! But dad, I wanted to drop by to tell you the good news! Carlisle has given Edward and me the Cullen's house, so we'll be moving back to Forks."

I'm not sure what I was expecting- laughter, a smile, a congratulations? But Charlie's reaction was not at all what I had in mind. He scowled at me, at Edward. I was completely offended. Didn't he want me back?

"Don't say that…person's name around me again, do you hear Bella?" He spat the words at me. I was completely shocked. Charlie had never had anything but the utmost respect for Carlisle Cullen. Why the sudden hostility?

"Dad, what happened? You used to love Carlisle!"

Charlie cast his eyes quickly around the drive. My eyes strayed uncertainly to Edward. He was scowling, but he didn't look angry, or anywhere near as angry as I felt. I guessed he must know the reason for Charlie's sudden hatred of the doctor, or else I had a feeling he would be at Charlie's neck right now.

"I think you'd better come inside."


	4. Memories ii

**N/A: Ok, so I thought I'd better explain this whole 'memories' thing, just quickly. These are, obviously, Bella's memories of things mentioned in the chapters (like her transformation). They are NOT, and I repeat NOT in the correct order. I am using them to explain things mentioned earlier in the story. Oh, and they're set in the PRESENT!**

**Chapter 4: Memories ii**

"_Bella! You're going to look GORGEUS! Edward is going to absolutely FLIP, when he sees you!" Alice practically screams in delight as she hurtles herself at me. _

"_Alice, need I remind you, every time you do that, it's like throwing a piece of very granite at me?" I groan heavily as she backs away._

"_Sorry Bella. It's just…I'm sooo excited! I've been waiting for this day for…Well, I don't know how long!" She squeals in excitement. Her face suddenly turns serious. "Shall we start with your hair, or your make-up? You see, if we do your hair first, chances are you'll ruin it when you put the dress on, but that could also happen with the make-up…"_

_I sigh heavily. It will be a long day._

"_Can't we do it while the dress is on?" I suggest. Alice shakes her head sadly._

"_Oh Bella, Bella, Bella. You really have no experience of weddings what-so-ever, do you? If we put the dress on first, we might spill make-up or God knows what on it. However, if we put it on last, we might smudge the make-up onto the dress…Tricky." Alice considers the possibilities, as I turn back to my mirror. I study my reflection carefully, wondering for the hundredth time today how Alice could possible make me worthy of Edward. It just wasn't going to happen. I look at myself glumly in the mirror, angry at my reflection. If I looked like Rosalie, I wouldn't be having this problem._

"_The roses are here Bella. Bella? Are you listening to me?" Alice looks at me in the mirror, her expression angry. Then, as she sees the growing concern on my face, her expression softens, and she sighs._

"_Bella, what are you worrying about now? Really, there is no way you could trip, I haven't seen it, and everything is going to go according to plan. I swear." _

"_As far as you know, it will. But what if some stupid werewolf decides to crash the wedding? You can't see them." I remind her, my feet turning into frosty icicles by the second. _

"_A) That won't happen, and B) if it did, we would put a stop to it." Her eyes flash, something akin to excitement in them._

"_That's what I'm afraid of." I mutter under my breath. I'm sure she heard it- with the Cullen's hearing, it would be impossible to miss anything, but she ignores it, or simply doesn't hear it, and flounces towards my hair. In her hand is a pair of somewhat lethal looking hair tongs._

"_Alice, if you think for one second that you're…" But I was too late, and the first section of hair succumbed to Alice's workings. _


	5. Dr Carlisle Cullen

**N/A: I've had lots of questions about what's going to happen next. Just be patient, and you'll find out! Anyway thanks for all the reviews, they're all really helpful.**

**Chapter 5: **_**Dr **_**Carlisle Cullen**

"Dad, what happened?" I looked at the face of my father urgently.

Charlie was pacing back and forth, making smaller and smaller circles on the cream carpet.

"A couple of years ago, a kid from over at La Push got injured in the forests around that area. He was running round at night or something- one of Jacob's friends, in fact." I made a mental note that this guy was probably a werewolf.

"Anyway, he was admitted to the hospital over here, where _Dr. _Cullen works." He sneered at the title. "So, the poor kid came in, bleeding everywhere, and the good _Dr_ comes straight over to see what he can do. Soon as he saw the kid, said he was sorry, but there was nothing he could do, and then started mumbling some nonsense about a treaty and a war. The kid, Jared I think his name was, had a poor time of it with the other doctors- they couldn't work out what had happened. Died of injuries later on. I had to take a report." Charlie sighed and looked out the window at the ever increasing rainfall. 

Things were starting to make a little more sense now. From what I could understand form Charlie's babbling, Carlisle couldn't heal Jared because he was a werewolf and it broke the treaty in some way (though, to be perfectly honest, I didn't see how). 

"Dad…"I hesitated, and looked at Edward for re-assurance. He was staring stiffly into the distance, the muscles in his jaw taught with worry…or confusion. "Dad, Dr. Carlisle is a professional. Whatever reason he had for not treating Jared was certainly very important. He's a good man. He wouldn't just quit on a patient without good reason." 

Charlie whipped around to face me.

"That may be true Bella, but a young man- practically a boy- _died_ Bella, because of _that_ man's decision. How do you think that makes me feel? Carlisle Cullen is a man I've looked up to for all the time the Cullen's " (at this he threw a glance towards Edward, who seemed not to notice) "have lived here, and now…I'm just confused right now." He sat on the sofa, his head in his hands. 

"Dad…"I started uncertainly, and threw a look towards Edward. He just gazed right through me, his face thoughtful.

Suddenly Charlie jumped up.

"It just makes me so god damn angry Bella! He _is_ a good man. He _always_ has been a good man….I just don't understand it. And with me being on the force and all….I couldn't just let it go….that was one of the reasons I quit….I couldn't handle it Bells. There was pressure from the La Push council, and I had to do _something_….but there was nothing I could do, unless I charged him with a law suit…" (He looked thoughtful at this) "But there's too much paper work for that." He laughed once, humourlessly at that, and then flopped back onto the sofa. 

"Well dad, it seems to me, you did the best you could. It was probably a misunderstanding. You know how these things are…" I trailed off. Even my attempt at cheeriness didn't fool me. I just couldn't stop thinking about Jared. I had spoken to him, I had known him. I sighed. This would only make life more difficult.

"Charlie, I will discuss this with Carlisle. In depth. You have my word. I trust my father, but even I am…confused by this turn of events." Edward stood abruptly, and I saw my father eye him suspiciously.

"That's…awfully good of you Edward. I was jumping to conclusions before. But…you have to understand. I was pretty close with the guys over at La Push. It's been a rough time." Charlie shook hands with Edward stiffly and even managed an awkward smile. Edward didn't return it. He was evidently lost in thought, his eyes clouded over with confusion, doubt, and even a little…fear?

"Bye dad. We should get together sometime. _All_ of us." I stressed the 'all' hoping he would understand the meaning of the plural. 

But he just smiled, and pulled me into a bear-like hug. It was frailer than I remembered, but it still had the iron quality it had always had. Back when I was human. 

"Bye Bells. See you soon." He waved to us form the door, his smile wavering ever so slightly. I forced a smile back, and then climbed into the waiting car.

Edward's face was a mask of absolute composure as we drove the short distance to his house. His jaw looked strained, and his eyes were just a little tight. Apart from that, his face looked serene. 

I decided to come straight out with it.

"What do you think happened?" We both stared at the curving road ahead, for once taking notice of the dark tarmac racing away underneath us. 

"I'm not sure, but I intend to find out." His voice sounded angry, but then he turned his head, and caught sight of my sad face. His expression softened. "What's wrong Bella?"

"It's jut so… unlike Carlisle. Even if he was worried about the treaty, he's never let that stop him before. He always put his work first." It all came out in a hurried jumble of words, and it seemed as though each word was racing to be heard first. 

Edward sighed, then turned to me and smiled slightly, smoothing my cheek with his velvety soft touch.

"I know. But I'm sure there's a valid reason. And I do believe we are about to find out what that is." As he spoke, we turned into the driveway, up the winding path to the great white mansion. On the porch of the perfectly white house stood the Cullens, each in a perfectly composed position, each keeping up the perfect charade of humanity. I sighed. This would not be easy.


	6. Memories III

**N/A: Ok, so I've had a few reviews, and now this chapter is dedicated to…****kaosgurl00 and BelloTopaOcchi. Everyone else, I really, really appreciate your reviews, but these ones really stood out! So, as I mentioned before, this is a 'memories' (well, I didn't mention that bit before, but this bit) and 'memories' are not in the right order, so all those who have questions about the wedding, be patient!**

**Oh, and this may be a little…well A LOT ….lemony…And DO NOT READ THIS IF YOUR NAME IS JU97JU97!**

**Chapter 6: Memories III**

"_Bella…." Edward whispers my name hoarsely in my ear. His weight atop me is so insubstantial, I barely feel him, and my skin burns where his ice cold fingertips graze it._

"_Edward." I reply. I sound sure, confident, but I feel anxious, excited, and I long for him. His touch, his every breath, sends a thrill throughout my aching body. I arch my back every so slightly, and Edward groans in pleasure. _

_He laughs a little. "Bella…you have no idea…" He trails off and groans again. _

_His hands snake gently down my body, leaving an icy cold path, that makes me shiver. He immediately stops, looks at me, his eyes full of worry. He gently strokes my face. "Are you too cold? I can stop…" I see the pain in his eyes, and shake my head. The truth is I only shivered because I need him. I need him in me. His hand scoops under my chin and raises my face to meet his. His kiss is passionate, and it leaves me gasping for air. He chuckles at my breathlessness._

"_If you're gasping for air after that…how are you going to be after this?" He gently slides his hand down my body, and starts making the tiniest of circles on my thigh. I sigh in pleasure. He kisses me now. Everywhere, until my body is burning. My head spins and all I want is to hear him say my name again. _

"_Bella…" Right on cue. As he always has been. I wriggle a little under him, until his hands are just where I need them. I smile to myself. I like being in control. He chuckles, and slips inside me. I groan, and arch my back; my heart seeming like it will explode within me. I can't stop crying out, and Edward has to remind me to be a little quieter. I giggle, and Edward's rhythm mounts a little, until we are both at our climax. We peak together, then drop over the edge. It is like we have journeyed to the top of a mountain, and I am scared to drop over the edge. But suddenly, Edward is right beside me, and I know he won't let me hurt myself. So I take his hand, and we fall together, down into the unknown._

_5555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555_

_I wake to Edward's icy hand in my hair, and sigh in contentment. What happened last night must have been a beautiful dream, and I am not ready to open my eyes, to dispel it, just yet. _

"_Good morning sleepy-head!" Edward's voice forces me to open my eyes, and when I do, I groan. I'm still dreaming. Only in a dream would I find myself in a sunny villa, in Edward's naked arms, glittering from the sunlight pouring in through the window. _

"_Go away!" I turn over and bury my head in a pillow. _

"_Is that anyway to great your new husband?" I sit bolt upright, and stare at him. The crooked smile I love is fading, quickly to be replaced by concern. "Bella? Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost!" He smiles a little at his own joke. _

"_I'm dreaming. I have to be dreaming." I groan again as Edward pulls back the covers._

"_No, you're not. How can I convince you? Hmm….Will this convince you?" And he scoops me up into a passionate kiss, and it reminds me of last night. Of my dream .I shake my head. _

"_You're still a dream." I smile at Edward, and Edward smiles at me, but he looks confused. _

"_You're not dreaming. I swear on it." He makes a solemn priest-like face, and it causes me to giggle uncontrollably. The sound startles me._

"_Oh! I'm not dreaming." Edward chuckles at my sudden revelation. _

"_No."(He agrees) "You're not." And then gently kisses my open mouth. _


	7. Armwrestling

**N/A: Thank-you to EVERYONE who has reviewed. It means a lot to me. I know my last chapter wasn't very good, and I may try to write another one in further chapters. This chapter really brings everything together, and sets it all in motion, so….enjoy!**

**Chapter 7: Friend or Foe?**

"Edward." Carlisle Cullen greeted his oldest son warmly from the front of the great white mansion, and the notion that soon it would all be ours disoriented me for a moment. I looked around at the faces of my family, each one happy and bright. 

"Carlisle." Edward's greeting was noticeably less warm, but the smile never left Carlisle's face. 

There was a short, awkward silence, until, suddenly, there was a flash of colour, and a dark head bolted straight into me. 

"Alice! God, you're going to have to stop doing that." I was a little breathless (if that was possible), but still delighted to see my new sister. 

"Bella! Oh, you look amazing! I can't wait to see you in the clothes I've picked out, but first…." Alice faded out, her eyes suddenly misting over, and I realised she was seeing something.

"Alice, what did you see?" She snapped out of it abruptly and turned to me. 

"Well, I don't see how it would be of any interest to you. I didn't see you. I _can't_ anymore. It's a little frustrating actually." She turned her nose pointedly away from me. I chuckled, and spun her back round to face me. 

"Alice. What. Did. You. See?" I enunciated everything clearly, so as to make sure she understood me. Reluctantly, she turned to face me.

"It was nothing much. Just Emmet looking upset." At my clearly confused expression, she elaborated. "He was beaten by….somebody….I guess you, at arm wrestling." 

"I'd like to see that." Edward was at my side now, hugging me possessively to his side. 

"Oh? You don't think I can?" It was as much a statement as a question, and I was a little pissed that he didn't think I could take on Emmet (although, personally, I was a little surprised by the notion myself). 

"No, it's just….well, it seems a little unlikely." He grimaced slightly as I jabbed him in the arm. Hard.

"Well, we'll just see about that. After all, if no-one else's powers have any effect on me, why should Emmet's?" I smile in triumph. I had trumped Edward this time.

"Ok then. I'll call him." Edward smiled at my over-confidence, and winked at Alice.

"I reckon she'll win." It was Rosalie now, skipping lithely down the steps to my side.

"Care to take a wager? $50 dollars says Emmett will win." This was Jasper now, one arm protectively round Alice's shoulders, one arm shoved in the pocket of his pants.

"You're on." I have to say, I was a little surprised that this most hostile Cullen was willing to wager against her own husband. 

"_I_ trust Alice." Rosalie said happily, smiling fondly toward her younger sister. 

"So do I. I just put brawn above brains." Jasper squeezed Alice's shoulder lightly at this.

"What's going on?" It was Emmet now, towering over all of us, his grin so wide it looked like it might break his face clean in half. 

Rosalie flounced to his side.

"I believe, Bella is challenging you to an arm wrestle." She grinned evilly at me, the twinkle in her eye unmistakable.

"Oh is she now?" Emmet's laugh boomed out, loud and hearty. "Well, I whole-heartedly accept. Bring it on!" He grinned at me, excited by the prospect.

I rolled my eyes at him, but surprised myself by agreeing. I didn't _want_ to back out.

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"Ok, you both know the rules. On the count of three, you can begin. The first to push the other's arm onto the table wins. Ready…1…2…3…GO!" Jasper started the wrestle off eagerly. I wondered vaguely where Edward and Carlisle had disappeared to, but was too preoccupied to focus too much on anything else. My arm was beginning to ache slightly, and Emmet could feel it. He started grinning at me. I really, really, wanted to win, I suddenly realised. 

I wasn't too sure where it came from, but I had a sudden burst of energy, and pushed against Emmet's arm with so much force, I caught him completely off-guard, and managed to gain a little distance. He growled at this, and immediately responded with his own burst of energy. But I was in my depth now, and had gained the upper-hand. I smiled to myself as I pushed his arm closer and closer to the table top. I felt elated. I was beating Emmet Cullen at his own game! I was stronger than him! With a final surge of energy, I shoved his arm towards the table, and grinned in triumph. 

The next few things were a blur. Alice ran towards me, grinning; Emmet and Jasper stared at me in horror; Rosalie smiled contentedly from her place next to Emmet. I could hardly believe I had won. It was only an arm-wrestle, but I felt like I had ascertained my position in the family. I felt like I truly belonged. I didn't feel like an outsider anymore. 

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"Edward, come to bed." I sighed as I closed Wuthering Heights again, and motioned for Edward to join me. 

Edward paced back and forth in front of the monstrous gold bed he had bought especially for me. 

"I just can't explain it. It all made sense when Carlisle said it, but now I think it back through…" He stopped abruptly and ran his hands through his hair for the umpteenth time that evening. All hopes I had had for a romantic evening in bed were quickly dissipating. 

"Well, maybe if you tell me what he said…" I snuggled deeper under the covers as he climbed onto the bed, still deep ion thought. He wrapped his arm around me waist, and sighed deeply.

"You remember when you first found out about werewolves? And the treaty?" (A nod from me ascertained this) "Well, there were a few things that were not exactly mentioned. You already know that if either one of the two parties crosses the boundary line of the other without permission, it could trigger a war. But what was _not_ mentioned was the fact that this applies in _any_ situation. Carlisle _couldn't_ treat Jared because he was breaking the treaty at the time. This sounds like a pretty lame excuse, but you have to understand Bella, for the treaty to work, both sides have to respect the agreement. There is a hospital in La Push; so to begin with, I couldn't work out why Jared had been brought to the Forks hospital. Then Carlisle explained it- by the time the werewolf was injured, he had already crossed the border line. He had already broken the treaty." He broke off to let his words sink in. I sort of understood now, but there were still a few things I didn't exactly get. 

"But why didn't Carlisle treat him? If he had already crossed the border, surely it wouldn't have made any difference if Carlisle had treated him or not."

Edward sighed.

"Even when I understood the first part, I couldn't understand this. Carlisle told me that, had he touched the injured werewolf's blood, the treaty would have been broken. You see, part of the treaty states that neither parties can spill the blood of the other, regardless of the circumstances. To heal Jared, Carlisle would have had to take some of his blood. Under the laws of the treaty, this would count as spilling his blood. The laws of the treaty are binding. I'm sorry Bella, and so is Carlisle." Edward looked at me, and I didn't doubt his sincerity for a second.

"But….that's preposterous! Surely the treaty could have been abandoned for a little while, to save a boys live! Edward, you have to agree!" 

"I do Bella, but we have always lived by the treaty, as long as we've been here. If we go back on it now, we might as well abandon the whole thing. Didn't you wonder why the La Push group didn't press charges? It was because they knew Bella. They respected the laws." He sighed, and his golden eyes were tight. I could see how much he wanted, no _needed_, me to understand. I was just so…outraged!

"I know Edward…but it just gets to me, you know? I don't see why we can't all live peacefully." I flopped back onto the pillows, defeated in my argument. Edward snorted.

"Mortal enemies live peacefully? You really do have a problem with your head!" He said, knocking on it gently. I gave him a playful shove, and then reached over to turn out the lights. 

"I really am sorry Bella; it's just the way things are." Edward began to hum my lullaby, and I could feel myself drifting off to sleep.

"I know, I just wish they weren't." I muttered, before giving in to sleep. 

**N/A: A nice long chapter, happy? Want more? REVIEW! **


	8. Memories IV

**N/A: Ok, another 'memories' for all of you. Now, just to clarify, I am ENGLISH, so, although I try my hardest, if I make teeny-weeny mistakes when it comes to American grammar, please excuse me. So, this is the chapter where Bella and Edward tell Charlie about their engagement (remember, these things are NOT in order). Enjoy! Oh, and this chapter is dedicated to Stephenie-Rulz.**

**Chapter 8: Memories IV**

_Edward grips my arm as we walk up the short path to the doorway of Charlie's house. He is not merely holding me- he is supporting me. I sigh. Again. This has to be the hardest thing I've ever done._

"_Are you sure about this Bella? It's not too late to turn back." Edward turns to me, concerned. He doesn't need to read my mind to know I'm not all too happy about this. But I know I want him for eternity, and if this is the way to do it, well… _

"_And disappoint Alice? How could I?" I laugh lightly in response. He studies my face for a minute, clearly not impressed by my light-hearted reply, and then continues to walk me to the door._

"_If you're sure…" I nod slightly in return, too over-come by nerves to appear cheery. He rings the doorbell once, twice, and then a third time, when there is no answer. I knock on the door, confused. The cruiser is in the drive, so…_

"_Dad? Dad, are you in?" I peer through the glass on either side of the wooden door, confused. _

_Suddenly, the door opens, to reveal the somewhat startled face of my father._

"_Yes? Oh, yes Bella. I thought you were out with the Cullen's today?" He genuinely seemed confused- he didn't even glare at Edward. _

"_Well, we were. But there's something Edward and I need to tell you." I can't stop the blush that creeps into my face. He will be so disappointed._

"_Oh?" Charlie looks at us now, his face betraying a hint of superstition._

"_I think you'd better sit down." I mumble, my eyes focused on the ground._

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"_So, you're marrying him?" The outrage on Charlie's face is clear for all to see. But at least it was better than when he thought I was pregnant. That had been almost cataclysmic. He takes a few breaths in and out, processing the information. When his emotions are in check, he turns to Edward, who has been silent, the whole conversation._

"_And you can support her? You can take care of her as your wife? You won't hurt her, or leave her again?" The last comment was a low blow, even for Charlie, but Edward ignored it with the usual politeness he adopts. _

"_Yes sir. We are going to have a small service here, in Forks, and then Bella and I will be leaving for Alaska. I still want Bella to pursue a college education." The last comment was directed at me. Edward's eyes lock with mine for a moment, still pleading me to reconsider. I give the tiniest of shakes. He gives the tiniest of sighs._

"_I don't like it Bella. You're just too young. I don't think you're ready." Charlie's voice takes on a new, father-like tone. This sets me off._

"_Dad, Edward and I are of age now. We can get married with or without your permission, but we both really want you to be there." I sit next to him, holding his hand. This show of affection is awkward for us both._

"_But…I…" He looks outraged, and then suddenly calms down a little. "If that's the way you want it…I guess I have no choice…I'll be at the wedding." He sighs in resignation. Edward shakes his hand and we go to the door._

"_Just, Bella, don't forget your options." The enigmatic final sentence takes me back to when Jacob told me those very words, when he kissed me. I shudder at the memory._

"_There are no other options. Not for me dad. Just Edward." I smile into the eyes of my love, and know I am loved in return. _

**N/A: Sorry it's not very long and the ending is a little cheesy, but there you go! Oh, and in the last chapter I hinted at Bella's powers. I was wondering if you like them. I didn't make everything clear, because I wanted to make it as natural as possible, but let me know! You know what to do! Oh, and listen to "Ain't it Funny" By JLo, because it is soo Twilight! **


	9. Territories

N/A: This is the next chapter (obviously)

**N/A: This is the next chapter (obviously). It may appear to stop a little short, but never fear, for all will be explained. Oh, and Bella's car is on my page.**

**Chapter 9: Territories**

I was driving up to La Push. The rain beat down on the hood of my Audi. It had been a gift from Edward- a wedding present. At first, I had refused it, but slowly, I had started to see the advantages of having a fast car. For one, it meant I could keep up with Edward. And fro another, it was just plain cool. I had called Jacob in advance, and asked him if I could meet him at the boundary line of the two territories. He had agreed, though reluctantly. I just wanted a chance to explain Carlisle's actions. The rest of the Cullen's, and the whole of La Push may not have cared, but I for one did. And I didn't want my father-in-law giving out the wrong impression. 

I could see the markings of the boundary line. When I was human, I could never see the line. Now I was a vampire, and had heightened senses, I could find the boundary line without any difficulty. I slowed the car, and put it in neutral. I could see Jacob's rabbit a few metres on. Twenty years and the kid still hadn't bought himself a new car. I shook my head slightly, laughing at him. 

I climbed out of the car, and made my way hesitantly towards him. He was scowling at me, his shaggy hair hiding his eyes from plain view. 

"Jacob!" I managed a friendly smile as I approached my erstwhile best friend.

"Bella." He nodded coldly in reply.

The coldness of his greeting knocked me for a second. I recovered quickly.

"Um…well I just wanted to explain Carlisle's actions. You know, why he didn't treat Jared a few years back." I was desperate for him to understand, to redeem Carlisle in some way. But Jacob was already turning to go.

"We understand Bella. The treaty is unbreakable. Carlisle…did the right thing." He had slipped into the plural again, and his grimace on the last sentence was unmistakable. I sighed in agitation.

"Am I the only one who cares about actual _people_ anymore? I don't give a shit who's a werewolf and who's a vampire! All I want is for my _friends_ and my_ family_ to get along. Is that so hard?" I yelled after him.

"Yes Bella! How are you so fucking naïve? How can you not understand these things? We. Can. Never. Be. Friends. Get it?" He stormed angrily back to me, so his body was just inches form mine. The heat radiating off him was tangible. God, he really does stink, I thought. "You CANNOT break thousands of years of enmity for one _leech's _whim!" His words were like a slap in the face, and I recoiled in reflex. 

"Well, I'm sorry if I just want everybody to get along, and stop being so fucking moronic! This whole 'your territory, my territory' is absolute bullshit! Doesn't our friendship mean anything to you? Well?" I was screaming in his face now, my anger overwhelming me. His fists were in balls at his side, and he was shaking. 

"No. It doesn't. How many ways do I have to prove that to you Bella?" Suddenly, he grabbed my face in his hands, and forced his lips against mine. His hot lips against my cold ones seared me. He broke the kiss, glaring at me. I stood still for a moment, then, with all my strength, slapped him as hard as could. I heard a loud snap then:

"OW! SHIT!" Both of us yelled out. With my vampire strength, I had slapped Jake, broken his jaw, and my hand. Jake stared at me in horror. Then, he grabbed my hands and forced them behind my back.

"That is IT Bella! I am going to prove to you once and for all that werewolves and vampire will NEVER be friends!" 

Everything went black.

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"Bella? Bella? Is she OK?" A face appeared out of the gloom, coming in and out of focus.

A heard a low growl, somewhere near my head.

"Why didn't he just break her up? It's better than what he did to her. It's better than this. Anything is better than this. Oh Bella, I'm so sorry." I want to comfort the voice, tell it that what happened wasn't its fault, but I'm just so tired. I think I'm going to…

Everything went black.

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"Damn it Carlisle! Can't you do _anything_?" It's the lovely voice again, but it sounded so sad. So sad. And so far away. I wondered why it's so far away.

"Just calm down Edward. Your shouting won't do anything. It's lucky we found her at all." Edward. I recognised that name. Edward. 

Everything went black. 

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"OW!" The pain pulled me out of my reverie, like a pinch to the upper arm. Everything hurt. And everything was so clear. So focused. It hurt my head. Then the beautiful face appeared again, pulling me toward him, crying. And then I remember. The beautiful face is a vampire, and vampires can't cry. I began to laugh, hysterically. The laugh sounded odd to my ears. Wrong somehow. But it was just so funny! But the laughing hurt and I winced in pain.

"What the hell is wrong with her? Carlisle! God damn it!" Edward cradled my head against his chest. I closed my eyes and inhaled him. If I was dead, I was most definitely in heaven. 

"She's had a very traumatic experience Edward. She's bound to have moments of hysteria. It's best just to let her rest." Another voice said something, but I couldn't hear it. I was cuddled up to my stone Adonis. I was put on to something soft, but that meant Edward would leave me.

"No!" I cried out. "No, don't leave me! Edward! No!" I began to cry, but no tears would fall. I wondered why. 

"Shh. I'm not going to leave you. Sleep now Bella." He began to hum my lullaby, and slowly, everything faded.

**N/A: What did you think? I will be going into more detail about the rape in the next chapter, and I'm afraid this one had a lot of swears, but never-the-less, what did you think? Don't forget- REVIEW!!**


	10. Memories V

N/A: Wow

**N/A: Wow! I mean just wow! I am dedicating this chapter to…EVERYONE! You guys are….wow. I didn't expect such incredible reviews! My e-mail service has stopped alerting me to reviews, so I was somewhat disheartened that no-one had reviewed…but I mean wow! I'm afraid this 'memories' is in order (it follows form the rape) but hopefully it will explain some things. I just want to say, before I start, Jake is a hell of a lot stronger than Bella- years of experience. **

**Chapter 10: Memories V**

_My body had locked down. It was as though it was adapting to the pain. I know vampires react and adapt quickly, but this is just ridiculous. It's strange how I can have such calm thoughts, when a werewolf is making his point perfectly clear all over my body. His screaming hurts my ears. I shut those off too._

_I'm sure I'm having an outer body experience. I think that's what it must be. At least, that's the only way to describe what's happening. I look down. Below me, Jacob is hitting every possible part of my body. His strength is incredible. I hear another sickening crunch, and my only thought is 'oops, there goes the arm'. I'm getting bored. And then Jacob does something unforgivable. _

_He leers at me (or my body at least), and licks my face from hairline to jaw. I grimace. I can almost feel my body again. His hands are crawling down my body now, but not in the gentle, playful way Edward's do. His are hungry, searching. He's found what he's looking for. His fingers plunge into me, and I do feel it this time. I scream, praying someone will find me. And then I begin to fight._

_I have never fought so hard as this. I push, I slap, I punch, and I kick. But it has no effect on the werewolf. He growls. It is a terrible growl, and it scares me, like I never thought anything would. I go quiet, realising this is probably the safest option. _

_My body convulses, as he plunges into me again and again. There is no pain like this. I just want it to end. _

_There is blood on the ground. It looks strange to me. I can't bleed. The blood takes up all my thoughts and I realise that is better than thinking of….But I won't think about that. I pray Edward finds me. A thought strikes me. _

_I begin to shift my body ever so slightly, ever so gently. I hope he won't notice. If I can just get to the boundary…_

_With a final shift of weight, we are over the boundary. I sigh in relief. Now I can relax. Now, they'll find me. _

**N/A: What did you think? Not **_**too**_** gory I hope? Oh, and if you're interested. The blood was actually Jacob's. Grinding your dick into a vampire can't be too good for it…**


	11. Reawakening

N/A: Thanks again for all your reviews

**N/A: Thanks again for all your reviews! Yeah, I hate Jake too! Just to clarify, Bella doesn't sleep (she's a vampire), but Jake manages to knock her out. When Edward says sleep now Bella, it's because morphine still works on vampires (Carlisle had given her some morphine). Whoever pointed that out- well done you! Good observation…But that's how I'm going to explain it! Lol ******

**Chapter 11: Reawakening**

"Shit." I sat up slowly, easing myself to. Everything ached, like I'd been thrown against a brick wall. I hadn't thought it possible for a vampire to ache. What the hell was wrong with me? I looked around the white room, dazed. I realised I must have been taken to the Edward's bed after….There was something wrong with the house though. It was empty.

"Edward?" I called, as I climbed slowly off the bed. I nearly collapsed, my limbs ached so much. I tried to walk, only to fall limply back to the bed. I sighed. This probably wouldn't be as easy as I thought, but I really needed to find Edward!

"Edward? Alice? Emmet? Hello?" Anybody would do now, I just needed SOMEONE!

I walked out into the hall, looking around. No-one out here either. I went into Alice's room.

Alice's room faced the opposite direction to Edward's. Hers faced the front garden, but despite not having the wall of glass, her room was airy and light. It suited her personality. Three of the four walls were white, and one of them was a light shade of lilac. Against the far wall was a white and lilac bed (all for show), and a state-of-the-art surround sound system. A plush carpet covered the floor.

On the wall facing the windows was a large walk in wardrobe. I'd found my destination. I walked quickly towards the wardrobe, and, after some rifling, found an item of clothing that actually fit me. Despite my fairly small size, Alice was just so much smaller!

Now fully dressed, I walked around the house, calling the names of my new family. There didn't appear to be anyone around. I sighed.

I was in the living room now, and flopped down on the sofa to watch some T.V. The television had never really held much interest for me, but I decided I had nothing better to do. I flicked to a program about wolfs. Slightly ironic, I thought. It was fairly boring. I flicked again; The Simpson's, Family Guy, Oprah. There was nothing of any real interest on. Suddenly, a new program caught my attention.

"This is the 10'o'clock news, I'm Conrad Bigly, and these are today's headlines. A mountain hiker has disappeared around the area of Forks, Washington. Michael Lawson was last seen in the area just two hours prior to his disappearance. The police suspect wolf activity. In other news….."

I turned it off, not interested in the rest of the news. I was only interested in the wolf activity. I wondered whether Jake or the La Push wolves had anything, but I dismissed the idea, thinking it was probably a misunderstanding, like when I first discovered werewolves.

I spent another hour flicking through channels, but I was getting restless. I was really starting to worry about the Cullen's. I consoled myself with the thought that they were probably hunting. Getting up, I walked slowly to the back wall, staring out at the garden. I chafed my arms, just for something to do. I was bored stiff.

I hurt a loud noise behind me, and spun around to see Alice's yellow Porsche squeal up the drive. I was frozen in shock for a split second, and then pelted vampire speed out the door. I rushed towards the car.

Opening her door for her, I peered in to see a rather flushed Alice and Esme.

"Bella! Oh thank God you're all right!" Esme pulled me to her, great shudders shaking her body. She couldn't cry, but I had a stranger feeling that, in a way, she was.

"Bella, we're so sorry we left you, but we had to go. Edward went, and then Carlisle chased after him, and then the wolves showed up and..." Alice was garbling everything at me at hyper-speed, even for a vampire.

"Alice! Just calm down. Speak slowly. I'm not physic." I cracked a wry smile at that, but it was replaced a second later by fear. Alice actually looked frightened.

"I'm sorry Bella, it's just…." She started panting. I think she may have been hyper-ventilating.

"Alice, what are you trying to say?" I looked at her, concerned.

"Bella, Edward has disappeared."

**N/A: Sorry to leave it on a bit of a cliff-hanger there! Sorry I didn't update last night, it's just I was so busy. You know how it is…**


	12. Memories VI

N/A: OK PEOPLE

**N/A: OK PEOPLE! YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO HAVE TO START READING THESE IF YOU WANT ME TO UPDATE! I have said in these BEFORE that, yes Bella IS a vampire, so, no, she CANNOT sleep. As I have also sated before, Edward's 'Sleep now Bella' is more a figure of speech. Carlisle has given her MORPHINE because she is in so much pain. Therefore, she "SLEEPS" (note the quotation marks around sleeps). And for all of you who wonder whether Jacob is dead…BE PATIENT!! Anyway, on with the show…**

**Chapter 12: Memories VI**

_I look to my left. Charlie is there, looking grim, but determined to do his duty. I sigh. This can't be easy for him. I look down at myself, vaguely aware that my appearance is rather lovely. Alice really did outdo herself this time. _

_Despite my anxious pleas, she had managed to put the dress on, do my hair and do my make-up without spilling, breaking or smudging anything. I was rather impressed. _

_I check myself quickly. I have my something old (Esme's blue scarf tied around my thigh, which also counted as my something blue, Alice later informed me), something new (my dress), something borrowed (my veil was from Alice's extensive wardrobe), and my something blue (again, the scarf). _

_I look ahead, to where my fiancé waits. At the end of a long walk. With hundreds (yes, hundreds) of people watching. And me in high heels. Did that aisle just get longer? gulp_

_He really is beautiful, I think, as we begin the long walk to the altar. We are in the meadow. It's where Alice envisioned it. To begin with, Edward and I weren't altogether thrilled that there would be hundreds of people crowding into our private place. But slowly, Alice had brought us around to the idea- it was our place, it was where Edward and I had first become close enough for him to show me his real self, and, we were probably never coming back (I was to be transformed out of Forks soon after the wedding). There was nothing really stopping us. And so, we had the big wedding Alice had always pictured, with a dash of 'Anne of Green Gables' about it. It was perfect._

_I smile nervously I reply to Edward's encouraging one. I walk slowly, as practiced, making sure to put one foot in front of the other, avoiding the long trail._

_I look at the audience of friends, family, and a few people I don't think I've ever met. I mentally shrug. All well-wishers, I'm sure. There are no werewolves, despite Edward's invitation (which I am still rather mad at him about). I guess it's all for the best, even if they are (sorry, I guess that's a 'were' now) my friends too. _

_I feel overcome by joy- joy that I was to spend the rest of my life (and then some) with the love of it. Angela walks three steps ahead of me, as a bridesmaid. Of course, Alice is the maid-of-honour, and Rosalie another bridesmaid. Emmet and Jasper share the role of best man. I smile at Emmet's huge grin. He occasionally punches Edward, as if to remind him he's getting married. I feel shy. Edward has only eyes for me today. _

_We are at the altar now, and no trips along the way! It must be a record, I think absently. I am already lost in Edward's topaz eyes. They make me light-headed. _

"_Who gives this woman?" Asks the priest (Edward's pre-requisite). I poke Charlie gently in the ribs._

"_Oh, I do." Charlie startles, looking a little dazed._

_Edward smiles gently at him. Charlie has a hard time letting go of my arm. _

"_Dad…" I whisper in his ear._

"_Oh, sorry Bells." There are tears in his eyes, and he wipes them away gruffly. He places my hand on Edward's. "Now, you take care of her, you hear?" He's being gruff to hide his emotions, and I understand. Edward just gazes at me._

"_I always will." The words are meant for Charlie, but he is only looking at me. _

_Charlie takes his seat next to my mother, who is already crying. I smile a little at that. Then the nerves kick in. What if my vows aren't as good as his? What if I forget to say something? What if…_

_But my nerves are not necessary. The service passes without a hitch. At every possible moment, I have to pinch myself to remember everything is real. Finally, we are married._

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_The reception takes place at the Cullen's. Alice has decorated every part of the garden in white and red. It is stunningly beautiful, just like my husband. My husband. It hasn't sunken in yet. I can't believe I was so scared of this. Marriage is bliss. So, I've only been married for an hour? It's still incredible! _

_We greet everyone, and thank them for coming. It is tiresome, but a small price to pay for eternal happiness, I remind myself. My cheeks are beginning to hurt from all the smiling. _

_When everyone has eaten, and Edward and I have danced our first (and only, I remind him vehemently), it was time to say our goodbye's. _

_After some gruff hugs from Charlie, some gentle goodbye's from the Cullen's, and a hell of a lot of tears on Renee's part, we left for our honeymoon on the coast of California. _

_Edward had insisted we stay in the most expensive villa there (much to my dismay), and fly first class. I didn't have it in me to destroy his dreams. _


	13. Finding Edward

N/A: Ok, so here's the next chapter, and pay attention, because it's very important

**N/A: Ok, so here's the next chapter, and pay attention, because it's very important!**

**Chapter 13: Finding Edward**

"_Edward's disappeared…"_

The words played over and over again in my mind. He couldn't have left. He couldn't. He promised. For ever and ever. That's what he said. He wouldn't break his promise. He just wouldn't.

"….and then he left. We're really sorry Bella, but we had to go after him. Bella? Did you hear me Bella?" The sound of Alice's voice brought me back to the present.

"What?" I was still a little dazed. "I'm sorry. I thought you just said Edward was gone. I must have misheard." Alice and Esme gave me an uneasy look.

"Bella, honey, you didn't mishear. Edward's gone. Alice was just explaining everything. Didn't you listen?" It was Esme's soothing voice that calmed my thoughts.

"Yeah, Bella, I was just saying how Edward has, literally, disappeared. He's not in my visions, and Jasper and Emmet can't pick up his scent. He's just…gone." She looked somewhat distraught. I felt….strange. It was like when Edward first left me. I felt numb. But I felt a strange sort of calm, like it was meant to happen. Karma. At least he wasn't off chasing some werewolf, or stray vampire.

"We have a theory that he went after Jake though." Why, why, WHY do I ALWAYS think too soon? I mentally hit myself. I felt awful. He'd gone after Jake. He was going to kill himself. God damn it! If I hadn't gone to La Push, none of this would ever have happened. My whole family wouldn't be endangered right now. Alice looked concerned. My face must have been betraying my emotions.

"Are you okay?" Alice peered over my face, anxiety etched onto her marble features. I slapped myself a little, trying to snap out of it.

"I'm fine. Have they searched La Push?" Even to me, my voice sounded strangely numb. There was absolutely no emotion in it.

"We can't, remember? It would break the treaty, although I' not sure the treaty has great standing to the werewolves anymore…" She said, wryly. "Billy called earlier, though. He asked Carlisle what he had done with Jacob. Jacob's gone too Bella. We think they've gone to fight, but we can't be sure. Their disappearances may be pure co-incidence, though I doubt it." Alice was already reaching into her pocket. She pulled out a slim silver phone, and quickly dialled a number I recognised as Carlisle's. She spoke quickly, and when she put the phone down, her expression was worried.

"That was Carlisle. He said there's no sign of Edward. However, they did pick up Jacob's scent….near some bodies. Dead bodies." Something suddenly clicked- the news report I had heard earlier! That must have been Jacob! It wouldn't surprise me after what he did to me. I quickly explained my theory to Alice and Esme.

"Yes, that would make sense. Where did it say the man went missing?" Esme was taking diligent notes, while I told her everything I could remember. "Hmmm. I'll call Carlisle. This could be what we need." Esme flipped the silver phone open, and spoke quickly and franticly into it.

"They're going to search the area." The phone call took less than a minute, but it seemed like hours before Esme told us the news.

"Do you think Edward followed him?" It was Alice now, asking Esme.

"I can't be certain, but it looks like our best bet. We'd better go and help. Are you up for it Bella?" There was only concern for my well fare in her motherly face, but I needed to go after Edward.

"I've had bigger scrapes than this before." I pointed out lightly. "Besides, I need to go after Edward. I lost him once; I'm not going to do it again." I winced at the memory of the time he left me…back when I was human. But I was determined to fight for him this time. The werewolves may not care about their own, but the Cullen's sure as hell do.

**N/A: Ok, so I'd like tot take a vote. I don't have time to do a poll, so if you could write in your reviews what memories you would like in the next chapter- any ideas are very welcome. **


	14. Memories VII

N/A: Ok, so I haven't had many votes for this, but you'll se what I'm going to do

**N/A: Ok, so I haven't had many votes for this, but you'll se what I'm going to do. And, please, please, PLEASE read these notes! They explain ALL your questions! I'm not going to answer any more now, as I want to get on with this story. I think there are only two chapters left, but if you ask really nicely…I know. Just read the last chapter (it won't count as part of the story), and we'll see!**

**Chapter 14: Memories VII**

_We are running through the woods. There is a disgusting aroma everywhere- it covers every tree and leaf. It makes me nauseous. There is something else though, too. It is faint, so faint, but I think it may be getting stronger. At least the werewolf wouldn't be able to smell me. I was now completely immune to all vampire powers and a few enhanced strengths of the werewolves _**(N/A: For those of you who didn't understand her powers- there it is in clear!)**_. These powers gave me strength above others; I just hoped it would be enough. Enough to safe Edward (although, to be quite honest, I was sure he didn't require any saving). _

_The lovely, sweet scent is growing stronger, but so is the putrid one. It must mean we're getting nearer. _

_Before we left the house, Esme and Alice devised a plan using my strengths- and I didn't like it one bit. It meant they would put themselves at risk (distracting Jacob), while I ran around and left with Edward. Hopefully, my immunity to Jacob's enhanced sense of smell would work to our advantage._

_We are almost there. I sniff the air once, twice, three times; to make sure I am right. Yes, that is definitely Edward's scent. And that other scent is most definitely a werewolf. I motion to Esme and Alice to move in, when suddenly a change in wind brings the scent closer to us. Oh shit! There isn't just one werewolf. There are three of them. Three on one. Three against Edward. My face drains of colour, if that is even possible. I know we have to move now, but Alice and Esme cannot handle three practiced werewolves! I'm not sure what to do. _

_I whip around suddenly, having sensed something near us. It smells like one of us, but you can never be sure. I listen. There is a very soft, very slight crunching of leaves. I relax slightly- the scent is definitely vampire, though strange or known I cannot tell. Hopefully, if they are unknown, they'll have sensed the werewolves, and have the common sense not to attack. _

_Out of the corner of my eye, I see Alice motion to me. Friends, she motions. Brother. Oh thank god! It's just Emmet and Jasper! Four vampires (six when Edward and I come back). We could take the werewolves. But someone will have to fill them in, and we can't afford to make ourselves known. I motioned to Alice. She nodded ever so slightly. She motioned once to Jasper (who, I could now see, was crouched behind a tree). She told him to follow our lead. It is now time._

_Creeping around the back, I see Alice let rip a feral snarl, and leap forward. She makes an unbelievably fast dive for the first werewolf's throat, and he falls. He seems to go down in slow motion. There commencers fighting, all around me, but I ignore it. I have only one goal. Edward. _

_I whisper the name to myself as I run swiftly through the trees, finally reaching my goal. I look through the leaves, not wishing to make myself known just yet. I see Edward, his perfect body still intact. I pray silently for a second, and prepare to make my swift entry. But suddenly, I hear voices._

"…_.like you were better for her in the first place! It would never have happened if you hadn't changed her, if you hadn't ruined her! I wouldn't have…" The voice sounded angry, but sad too._

"_No-one forced you to…violate her." The beautiful voice I knew so well shuddered on the last part. It is Edward, and I'm pretty sure the voice he is talking to is Jacob. "She made her decision. I wanted it no more than you did. But, ultimately, it was her choice. I only live to make her happy." Edward sounded unafraid, despite the fact that he is face to face with an angry werewolf. Actually, I suppose he isn't a werewolf yet, or else I wouldn't be able to hear Jake. _

"_Bullshit! You forced her! You made her what she is!" Jake's voice is shaking. He's probably about to change. I have to go now._

"_You can change. You can become a werewolf. You can hurt me. But I will always fight for her. I will always love her. I will always do what's best for her. I love her, and you cannot change that. So, kill me. Go on, kill me. I love Bella Swan more than anybody I have ever known. Just don't hurt her again. Don't touch her, because I would rather die, than be without her." Suddenly, a ferocious growl ripped through the air. Edward's speech has brought tears to my eyes, and I know I am not thinking properly as I step out of the woods, and in front of Edward's waiting body. I know I am still not thinking properly as Jake, unable to stop himself, lunges at me. I smile. Edward loves me, and that matters more than anything. _

**N.A: A little 'emo', but I was listening to "No-one's Home" at the time! Want to know what happens next? 5 reviews. Not that much to ask of you, is it?**


	15. My safe harbour

N/A: Ok, so I got 7 reviews, and, as promised, here is the next chapter

**N/A: Ok, so I got 7 reviews, and, as promised, here is the next chapter. This is the very last, and I'm going to make a good long one! Now, for those of you who called me evil, I know! And I'm really sorry, don't flame me, but characters do die. I'm sorry. **

**Chapter 15: My safe harbour**

Everything was going in slow motion. I saw Jake lunge towards me, I felt a cold grip from behind. My body was thrown sideways. That must have been Jake. I couldn't hear anything. I wondered if I was dead. What a curious sensation to be dead...

Suddenly, I heard a feral roar. It filled my ears. It ripped through my body. It brought me back to the present with a sharp stab of reality.

I looked around. I had buried my head in my arms, and it was only now that I realise I was on the ground. Something had hit me, throwing me to the grass, and I had assumed it was Jake, making an attack. I had also assumed I was dead. But I wasn't. That surprised me. I wasn't dead. I laughed at that. I don't think you can laugh when you're dead. I couldn't be dead then. That's good. Except if Edward was dead. Then I would want to kill myself. But I couldn't explain it; I just didn't think he was. I looked around me, and froze.

The clearing was a battlefield. There was blood over every inch of the grass. And bodies. I cried out in pain. I wasn't hurt, but I was face to face with a piece of perfect granite. It was an arm. All around me was death. I noted with satisfaction that all the werewolves were dead. Except one.

I spotted Jacob and Edward across the field, facing each other off. They looked lethal. I was suddenly filled with fear for Edward. I knew how strong Jacob could be form personal experience. I knew he was going to attack, and I had to stop him. I had to. I suddenly remembered an earlier memory. Cold arms. Edward. Edward pushed me out the way. Edward sacrificed himself. I could only look on as the only man I had ever loved laughed in the face of death. He looked over the field, straight at me, and smiled my favourite crooked smile. Tears were streaming down my face, and I didn't care. I tried to smile back, but a soon as I opened my mouth, I let out a blood-curdling scream. I howled. I howled in anger, in pain, and in loss. I was going to lose Edward.

It was in slow motion again. I was on my feet running, but I wasn't fast enough. Jacob turned to me, grinning. I hated him. My hate seared through my veins. Everything ached. I pushed myself, at full vampire speed, but no matter what I did, I couldn't get there fast enough. I was too late. I did the only thing I could think of.

"NO EDWARD! I LOVE YOU! NO!" I fell to my knees, sobbing. Edward turned to me, and in that moment, I knew he would fight. He would fight for us.

I could only watch as Jake through himself at Edward, and Edward growled in return. The two launched themselves at each other, their movements to fast to catch. I felt cool arms around me, and everything went black.

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There were those cool arms again. So cool, so hard, yet so very soft. I was content just to lie here. I couldn't hear anything. Those arms were blocking everything out- all the sound, all the light. I couldn't do anything. There was a cool face then, on top of my hair. It was pressed gently against it. I could almost hear a gentle voice, very close to me, whispering words to me. They were claming words, much like a mother to her child. They were soothing and gentle. They were shielding me from the horror around me. But I didn't want to be shielded any more. I wanted to face the truth. And if that meant Edward was dead, then so be it. I shoved hard against the arms encircling me. They broke apart in surprise. The sound hit me like a fast bus. There was only one fight left. I wondered why the other vampires weren't helping Edward. They were just standing there, watching. I looked at Alice helplessly. She mouthed "It's their fight" then turned back towards them; worry clear on her marble face.

Back in the fight, Edward was winning. I thought he was winning anyway. It was kind of hard to tell, what with them both moving at super-human speeds.

I couldn't watch. I buried my head in Alice's chest, the roar of the battle filling my head. Suddenly, there was silence. Silence like I had never heard before (or not heard, as the case may be). I raised my head slowly, looking around with caution.

"It's over." Alice whispered grimly in my ear. I gulped.

"Who won?" I whispered, trembling. I wondered why we were whispering. Maybe we didn't want to face the truth just yet, if there was any truth to face. Maybe, we just didn't want to break this silence. There was never a silence such as this. The silence hung from every tree, it filled every space. It was beautiful. It scared me.

"We did. Edward did." I wondered why her voice still shook. Why she still sounded sad. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. I counted our ranks: Rosalie, Emmet, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Edward. Everyone was here. Everyone, except Jasper. I looked around me. Esme had her head buried in Carlisle's arms, and Emmet was holding Rosalie grimly against him. Edward didn't look triumphant, as he should have. He looked sad. On the verge of tears, almost. Why Jasper? Why quiet, peaceful, kind Jasper? I loved all my family, but Jasper…I never treated him as I should have. And now, he was gone. I smelt a sickly scent in the air, and looked to a bonfire I hadn't noticed before. It was glistening with a thick, cloying smoke. The bonfire, was Jasper, I realised with a sickening dread. The granite I saw before must have been him, the pieces of him. The horror of it struck me. Everything was my fault. Everything was always my fault. Why did I go to La Push? Why did I have to be so proud? Why?

I realised, suddenly, that I could question the truth endlessly, and never believe it. I could search everywhere, and never find it. Because the truth was here, right in front of me. And I didn't want to face it. I couldn't face it.

I looked at Edward, and in a second, he was at my side. I buried my face in his neck. And then I cried. I cried for all the memories of our time together. I cried for my family, one shorter. I cried for Edward. I cried for Alice. I cried that this age old controversy could only be settled by war. And I cried that it was my fault. My entire fault. I cried until I could cry no longer. Vampires couldn't cry, yet I was. Tears streamed down my face with reckless abandon. The pain inside me was aching. I needed to do this, and I think, somehow, Edward understood.

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I looked around the old town one last time. Everything had changed since the battle. Everyone had changed. Alice would need time. It was a little like when I had gone into hysteria after the rape, Carlisle told me. She would need time.

She spent her days in her room, and I think she was looking at pictures of their time together. Their short time together. She wanted to go back to that time. Their…home.

I heard the Avril Lavigne song 'Nobody's Home' blaring occasionally from her room. The lyrics haunted me.

_What's wrong, what's wrong now?  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside._

Everything was so much quieter. We just seemed to be drifting. All of us. Drifting through our lives. But even the sturdiest boat needs a safe harbour once in a while.

Edward was mine. Was. But now, he was drifting, just like the rest of us. We needed to leave, I knew that. We needed to go back, back to our safe harbour.

And so, we left. We said goodbye to everybody, because this time, we weren't coming back. Carlisle and Esme were coming with us. Emmet and Rosalie were going to go travelling, and then meet us in Alaska. And Alice, well, Alice just needed to find herself. She would join us when she was ready.

The werewolves got their wish. They drove the vampires out of Forks, Washington. But we were going to our safe harbour, and their's would never be complete, because theirs would not exist without Jacob Black. And Jacob Black was gone.


End file.
